Do the Math

I have to say this for that co-worker that says he's a pimp because of the number of women he's dating on the job. I had to give him my opinion, which of course he didn't like. I'll share it with you and you can let me know if you agree.

First of all, a pimp's status is not usually measured in quantity. The only quantitative measurement used to describe a pimp's degree of success is one that is monetary in value. Dollars and cents. Any other time, a pimp's status is determined by the quality of his ho's.

For example, let's say (hypothetically) that a pimp's top score is 100 points. If a pimp has ten ho's that are all dimes, that pimp has reached maximum pimp status. But this co-worker I'm talking about has 10 ho's on his jock, but they are all ugly and desperate. I'm not hating, this is my objective observation. Anyway, he has 10 ho's, but each one is only worth 2 points. Ten times two is only twenty. Twenty points on my pimp scale ain't nothing to brag about.

Now, a pimp does not have to have a college degree, but he should know some basic 8th grade algebra to reach maximum pimp status. If all the pimp has is 2 point ho's, he needs 50 of them to ensure he's making the most profit. This is what I told my co-worker today. I think I hurt his feelings, but that's what he gets for bragging about the women he's sleeping with when I'm around, in a bad mood, working on a Sunday because my boss is a she-bitch.

I ended this discussion by reminding my co-worker that if pimpin' became legal and all of a sudden he could sell his ho's as a retail brand, he would not be selling them at Macy's, he would be selling them at Wal-Mart.

The only reason he would be selling them at Wal-Mart is because you can't sell a 2 dollar ho at the 99 Cent Store.

Can't We Just Calm Down?

I wrote this one day watching people while waiting for my number to be called at the DMV. What is it about the DMV that makes people so angry? Mystery to me. Anyway....


It makes no sense, getting huffy and indignant.
Letting ourselves be controlled by a rave or a rant.

Our blood pressure is up, we're all overweight,
So caught up in frustration, we can't see what state we're in.
White folks all calm, pointing, saying, "Oohh - look at them!"

This is not in our nature, I believe that's a fact!
Do you watch the discovery channel?
Tribal Africans don't act like that!

We were peacful by nature,
How else could they have gotten us here?

Now we're acting like fools,
Behaving according to other's fears.

I don't want to be a hypocrite, I snap and go off, too.
So I'm going to start today, let's call it resolution #2.

The first is to thank God for alllowing me to wake up everyday.
The second is for my health, I want to live a long time.

So I'm going to calm down, starting now, at the end of this ryhme.

composed: 05-2005

Reception of Proof....A Testimonial

At 29 I was reborn but spent three weeks in incubation.
I was moving, breathing, feeling, even though I was not fully alive.
When I was finally reborn after my developing weeks,
I was suddenly claimed, my adoption sealed.
My eyes were closed, yet I could clearly see,
Like a baby who lays eyes upon it's mother for the very first time,
I saw who re-birthed me.
The claim and the love were severe and instantaneous.
At 29 I opened my mouth, I took my first breath, said words I'd never before heard,
And like all who come to life, I cried.

composed: 11-3-05

Scent of a Storm

A coming storm smells so good.
The tumultuous air mixing a sumptuous brew.
At the same moment one can taste afternoon haze and morning dew,
Fresh cut grass, turned compost, damp and rotting wood.

The electricity in the air is tangible.
All of the insects buzzing, crawling, whispering with their wings.
The culmination of all these things is fragile.
The touchable smells of all the activities not only livens my senses,
but makes me want to sing.

composed: 07-01-05

Missing Nothing

All the fun and laughter that I never had.
Never a talk or walk, never a hug or kiss.

What could have been makes my heart sad.
What is this nothing that I miss?

After so long my heart still aches.
I yearn for love and guidance I never received.

It must be tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes.
Anything less keeping you away I can't conceive.

When I think about my collective memories of you,
It always turns out to be so much less than something.

But nevertheless, I miss it, and what could have been, too.
I wonder why i find myself constantly missing nothing?

composed 04-15-03

Driving Myself Crazy

I wrote this poem 6 years ago. Read in context with the Haikooos poem below, it shows a powerful transition in my relationship.


Are you there?
Do you feel what you say, or do you feel what you do?
Am I a fool? Do you really see the pain I go through?

Am I your stone to step on,
until your dream girl comes along?

Am I better than you,
or lucky to have you?

Do I sit by and play wifey,
or will you ever marry me?

In your distant future, who do you see?

Am I too fat for you?

Is my hair not long enough?

Who am I to you?
Who am I?
Who am I to question myself !!

All these questions I ask you,
I should be asking me.

Why do I doubt you?
Why do I doubt you?
Why do I doubt myself !!

I am just right for someone.

Not just right for you,
Not just right for the next man with whom I may be.

The someone I'm just right for is me.